Archive | December, 2013

Sick For The Holidays

28 Dec

We fell like dominoes.

Christmas morning I woke up with a fever and laryngitis.

Next day my husband came down with it.

Today, Friday, the 3rd housemate.

The flu.

We are a pathetic lot. Coughing, sneezing, alternately shivering and sweating.

Thankfully, the roommate had an afternoon to fill the freezer with heat and serve meals for them. And I have plenty of veggies, eggs, and the like.

Yay for being ready.

Boo for being sick in the first place.

Uh-oh. Energy draining. Fog returning.

Back to bed.

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Video

MMM… Twas Right Before Christmas

23 Dec

And all through the house not a creature was stirring…

Except for the dog…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jz5VLmnv4g4

The sad part is, this is pretty much why we don’t decorate much for this, or any, holiday. Two dogs and a cat… what kind of chaos will children bring into the picture???  (Eventually, people. Eventually!)

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Alright, time for the pretty, sappy Christmas music.

Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s Christmas Canon:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cP26ndrmtg

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For more Mirth and Music Monday head on over to ReGi McClain’s blog. She has three videos for you this week!  🙂

If you would like to join along in our Monday merriment simply put together something funny and something musical (they could even be in the same video) and add your link to the blue bug-eyed thing on the top left of ReGi’s blog. (Or just click Here.)

Happy day before Christmas Eve!

( Let the craziness begin )

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Video

Plastic Christmas – A Poem

21 Dec

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I’m not here.

You can’t see me.

I’m invisible.

Please don’t bug me.

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They’re everywhere,

And in every shape and size,

All those people

You normally despise.

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They’re on the sofa,

And in the kitchen,

Lots of talking;

Screaming children

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Why did I accept

This party invite?

I’d rather suffer

A werewolf bite.

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Christmas music

Playing loud,

Someone’s yelling

Above the crowd.

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A toast, they say,

In a jovial way,

To us, they cry,

May we stay this way.

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I gulp my drink

And set it down.

Must get away,

before I drown.

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The sappy hugs,

The forced cheer,

It makes me sick.

What do they fear?

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I’m hidden now.

In a bedroom.

A few deep breaths,

As panic looms.

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Time to go home.

I can’t stay here.

These people don’t have

Real Christmas cheer.

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Plastic faces

And plastic times.

They say happy things

Like quoting lines.

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The Christmas spirit

Is in very few.

The Christmas spirit…

Is it in you?

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWdJ1EXf5zo

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Video

Christmas Shopping With A Five Year Old – A Flash Fiction

20 Dec

“I told you no.”

“But mommm…”

“Don’t but mom me. We are shopping for Christmas presents for other people, not you. If you keep this up you’re going to lose pizza on the way home. Is that what you want?”

“No! I want pizza.”

“Then stop begging for things, and help me pick something out for your teacher.”

“Something for Mrs. Benson?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because, Charlie, it’s traditional. Now, what do you think she would like? We could get her a pretty scarf, or some earrings, or maybe a gift certificate for a coffee shop.”

“She doesn’t drink coffee.”

“She doesn’t? What does she like to drink?”

“Hot chocolate. Today she had a biiig hot chocolate with a candy cane sticking out of it!”

“Did she get it from a store or make it herself? You’re shrugging. Um, did she throw away her cup when it was empty?”

“Yeah.”

“What did it look like?”

“It was white.”

“Oh boy. Uh, did it have a brown paper thing around the middle?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah. Okay, did it have a drawing on it? Words?”

“Ummm…”

“I can see the gears turning. Can you remember?”

“It…had a green lady on it.”

“Yes! I know where she got it. We’ll get her a gift card for that place.”

“Okay. Hey, do we have to get presents for all the kids, too?”

“We can if you want.”

“Nn…Yes!”

“Nn-yes, huh? What should we get them?”

“Tonka Toys!”

“How ’bout something smaller?”

“Legos?”

“I meant something less expensive.”

“We could just get a present for one of them.”

“Just one? Which one, Charlie?”

“Becky.”

“The Becky who pushed you off the swings last week?”

“She didn’t mean to! She just wanted…”

“Yeah, I know how that goes. What do you think Becky would like?”

“She wants a koala.”

“This is going to be a more interesting shopping trip than I’d thought.”

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsvOrtcrA5c

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This Book Is All Mixed Up In My Head

18 Dec

It’s so confusing.Title  I Killed Them Mama in yellow on purple - cropped

The story in I Killed Them, Mama makes a scary kind of sense when I look over the bullet points. It’s all there (except to figure out where exactly the new love interest makes his appearance [the first time] in the book). Now I just have to write it. *sigh*  Yeah,… right.

Like that’s so easy.

I have pretty much decided that I’m going to have to skip the first chapter. There are too many thoughts about how this should go. They are fogging up my mind and keeping me from moving forward. So, that will be left for a much later date.

I really hope this whole novel writing thing gets easier after the first or second book. If not, I’m kinda doomed.

It’s not as though I don’t absolutely love to write. What’s getting me is the amount of time and thought that’s already gone into it. My ever fertile imagination has already figured out most of the next book. If I did a little searching I would probably find that I have a third lurking on a back burner of my subconscious.

I just want this one to be done, so the other(s) can get done, too.

What I really want is for all of you to read them and tell me what you think. I want hundreds, thousands of people to enjoy some coffee, a cookie, and another chapter of my novel. To know that I provided several hours of absorbing entertainment.

The knowledge that eventually others will get to experience the thrills, what-ifs and uh-ohs that this character goes through… That is what keeps me from just hitting delete on the whole project.

Let’s just hope I can get this thing written before I’m old enough to order from the senior menu.

Dear Mama photoshop #2 - cropped

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As a side note on another project:

I have created a cover for My Ignored Hamper and other bathroom poetry.

Yay!

I really like it. Yeah, it’s not the most amazing cover on the planet, but it’s what I envisioned for this stage in it’s life.

Getting it up on Smashwords will not take much more now. I just want to give the formatting another check over before uploading.

You want to know something else?

I’ve decided this book of poetry will be free on Smashwords until I get it uploaded on Amazon!

My reasons? 

First off, I have never gone through this process before. So the formatting may have to be twitched with over a few days to make it come out right. I just wouldn’t feel right about asking someone to pay for something that’s potentially that far out of whack.

Secondly, I would like to request than anyone who is even remotely curious please (after it’s up) read and review it. The only beta readers this thing saw were relatives. I would like some truthful responses. Although, a spoon full of sugar to help soften any blows would be greatly appreciated.  🙂 

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Alright. Now back to re-reading the Smashwords Style Guide.  So exciting.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWbbjvYmN8A

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Putting My Blog On A Schedule (Eep!)

17 Dec

I have been putting off a couple of things out of fear of change and perhaps your reaction. These changes have not left my mind, though. In fact it’s been quite the opposite. Nearly every article and book I have been reading has said something along the lines “Do the thing you fear most”, or “What you most fear is usually the exact thing you should be doing.”

It’s almost creepy the way my life (God, the universe, fate, whatever) conspires to get a point through this thick skull.

Anyhoo, so now I will be implementing that change. (otherwise that phrase will just keep stalking me)

This change is… Cutting back to blog posts every Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday.

Whew. I said it.

Now for the kinda sorta schedule.

  • Mondays will continue to be Mirth and Music Mondays.
  • Wednesdays, starting next week, I will join in on WIPpet Wednesdays. Basically I will post a small excerpt from my current work in progress.
  • Fridays will be for Flash Fiction.
  • Saturdays will be for poetry.

Now that isn’t to say that there won’t be the occasional cover reveal for a friend, or if something big happens in my life that I won’t turn it into a humorous post. I’m just saying that the daily posting schedule will be at an end. (Don’t be too surprised if a random, quirky one bleeds through.  😉  )

I’m sad to see it go, but that time is needed for other things now.

I will miss you, Daily Blogging. *sniff*

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Now for a total change of topic:

I have had this song in my head half the day.

So, now you get to suffer, too.  😉 

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsQrKZcYtqg

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Video

MMM… It’s Almost Christmas!!!

16 Dec

Wait! Whaaat?!

*Gasp*

I am so not Ready!

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Okay, so before I start running around like my hair’s on fire, let me get these videos up here for you to enjoy.

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There’s a series of short videos called Kid Snippets. It’s adults acting out kid conversations.

This one’s about wrapping Christmas presents.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mnxux4JKMnc

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Then Pentatonix singing Carol of the Bells.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSUFzC6_fp8

All that glorious harmony gives me chills. Especially the bass. Wow.

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For more Mirth and Music Monday head on over to ReGi McClain’s blog. She has a hilarious video…with Santa in it.  😀 

If you would like to join along in our Monday merriment simply put together something funny and something musical (the could even be in the same video) and add your link to the blue bug-eyed thing on the top left of ReGi’s blog.

Happy last week before Christmas!

(Hey! How can you tell if you’re hyperventilating?)

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How Survive Thinking Too Hard

15 Dec

Some of us have a very unfortunate affliction.  We have a hard time shutting off our brains when it comes time to relax. We could have miles of perfect beach with warm inviting waves just waiting for us, and we would still be running calculations through our minds.

Not good.

There must be real down time in our weeks or we’ll end up in the looney bin next to theoretical physicists who tried to tie ‘the force’ to string theory.

Here’s my (far from exhaustive and slightly silly) list of ways to make your brain stop spinning!

  • Take a bubble bath and bring along some bath toys. It’s hard to stress out with a rubber ducky grinning at you.
  • Go to the park and swing on the swings. You may not want to go very high, but it’s the giddy feeling in the pit of your stomach that counts.
  • Grab a friend, pop lots of popcorn and watch a ridiculous movie. It’s hard to stay serious when you’re trying not to laugh so hard you snort munchies through your nose when your buddy makes a rude comment about your favorite cartoon character.  Your.  *eye roll*
  • Go for a picnic. Even if it’s just in the living room pillow fort.
  • Have a friend over, then make and eat chocolate chip cookie dough. Face it, we’re always lucky to have even half the batch make it into the oven anyway. Just admit it this time, leave out the leavening and eggs, and revel in the naughtiness.
  • Go for a drive, just to drive. With the cost of gasoline these days this one has been relegated to the teenagers who are just so thrilled to have that freedom that they don’t care it’s costing them ten dollars. So, budget the money and go for a relaxing spin. Take a drive in the country. Tour your old neighborhood. Whatever. Just have fun with it!
  • Dance around like an idiot. This one has always worked for me in the past. It’s hard to think straight when you’re flipping your hair all over the room as you blast your favorite band. It’s also a great way to trick yourself into a great cardio workout.  😉 
  • Take a nap. This one never gets old. There are times when we have spun our minds (and bodies) so tight that the only thing to do is to give in and actually rest. Just grab your favorite teddy bear, your cat, or you significant other and zonk out for a while.
  • Go for a walk. No. Not a power walk. Not for actual exercise. This one is just to help you notice the sunshine, blue sky, and perhaps some of those wonderful endorphins that come out to play when you move around enough.
  • Read a fun book. I know, you’re reading this one to review, that one for work, and that one for self-improvement. Where is your down-time reading? You know, the fun one with pirates or unicorns or space ships (or if you’re lucky, all three).
  • Play a game. Be it chutes and ladders, hop scotch, or Battle Mech, playing a game can be very absorbing. Let yourself be drawn into the fun of the dice rolling, the intricate hops, or heh, sniping at a Marauder and an Annihilator while hopping up and down behind a hill.

Face it, you don’t have to give in to your mind taking over and not letting you pay attention to anything but your current project. There is hope. And thankfully, cheap ways to distract yourself from thinking way too hard.

Good luck!

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Just to help speed up the process:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gB3hPXf-StY

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There’s A Special Island For You – Flash Fiction

14 Dec

“Hey, Mike. How’s the world been treatin’ you this week?”

“It’s been alright. It would be better if my neck would quit seizing up on me.”

“That’s still bothering you? Didn’t the chiropractor say it was tension from sleeping wrong? He even gave you that pillow full of…”

“Well, it worked for a while, but it came back a couple days ago. The pain has kind of migrated a little further down my back, though. You wouldn’t believe how…”

“Yes, I have had some serious pains in the neck in my life. Careful, the signal says ‘Don’t Walk’. How about this beautiful weather we’ve been having. It’s just glorious. I took the family for a picnic over the weekend. Brought the dogs along. The kids loved pitching those balls as far as they could throw them. It’s surprising how long it takes to wear down those terriers. Did you do anything fun this weekend?”

“No. The wife had a honey-do-list as long as my leg. Didn’t even get half of it done. *sigh* Then she drug me out to see the latest Ridger flick.”

“That’s a great movie.”

“It would have been great, except for the teenagers three rows behind us. Kept talking and giggling. I couldn’t concentrate.”

“You have to admit, there’s never that much plot in a Ridger movie. Mostly guns, bad guys, bombs, then him walking out of the rubble with the latest hottie.  Wow, this light is sure taking it’s time.”

“It’s rigged. Did you see that thing in the news that they’ve bombed another…”

“Yeah. Awful. Glad they got the guy this time. Oh, I forgot to tell you, I got the notice about my promotion a few days ago! Move into the new office next Monday.”

“Really. That figures.”

“What figures? I worked my butt off for this position.”

“Yeah. Years. Now they see things not going quite right and want to stick you in to be the fall guy. It’s just a shame that you were there to step into their plans.”

“Ookay. Not quite the way I see it, but…”

“You will soon enough.”

“Yeah, just a sec, I need to make a quick call.”

“Take your time. I’m just standing here waiting to cross the street; aging with every breath.”

“Uh-huh. …  Hey, Bruce, I found another one. … Yeah, persistent. … On the corner of Brooks and Main. … Thanks.”

“What was that about?”

“Nothing much. Just a hotline for when I get into this sort of situation.”

“They have a hotline for slow traffic lights? What’s the number?”

“Eh, not exactly. You see, there’s this company that’s running a series of studies on… Oh, here they come.”

“Wow, prompt.”

“Yup.”

“I could do without all the sirens, and the screeching tires.”

“I love them. You can’t miss ’em. … Hi!”

“Were you the gentleman who called about the ‘situation’?”

“I sure am. Right here.”

“Bill, why are you pointing at me?”

“You’re the situation.”

“How can I be ‘the situation’, I’m a person, I…”

“Sir, have you been engaged in a long boring conversation in which you actively attempted to make the other person as miserable as yourself?”

“Whaaa? I don’t see how stating…”

“Have you or have you not had repeated, depressing conversations with anyone who would listen?”

“Now wait just a cotton pickin’ min…”

“And finally, sir, when is the last time something good happened in your life?”

“Huh?”

“We need your answer now, sir.”

“It’s kind of hard to talk with people in blast shields and body armor who just poured out of a black van. You do realize that your front right tire is on the curb, right?”

“I see. Then your answer is that you can’t remember at the moment?”

“How can that be taken as…?”

“Thank you for notifying us, Bill. We’ll take it from here.”

“Not a problem, Ma’am.  So long, Mike. You’re going to love it there.”

“Hey! Put me down! NO! You CAN’T do this!”

“You see, they can, Mike. There’s a special island for people like you. A place where they quarantine infectious gloom. You don’t have actual depression, you’re more of a carrier. I’ve tried for years to get a positive word to come out of your mouth. A total waste of time. You just bum people out. I hope you can get through the program quickly. That way we’ll be able to resume our morning chats on our way in to work. It’d be nice hearing something up beat for a change.  See ya!”

“NOOOooooooo!”

“Good Luck!”

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Sunset 2 - compressed.

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Video

A Christmas Homecoming Video

13 Dec

Today I did more sleeping than anything else, which is good. It just didn’t help that I slept clean through the time when I normally write and schedule my blog posts.

Oh, well, you get one constructed in real time, I guess.  *shrugs*

Alright, since it is really early morning here, and I am sleepy, I am going to find a quick and interesting video for you. Then I am going to find something easy to eat and get back to bed.

Sound like a plan?

Good.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tH2Ze7q3pXo

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Yeah, that’s just plain cool.  🙂 

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Hey!

If you could surprise someone this Christmas, who would it be and what would you surprise them with?

This is a fantasy situation, now, so your current finances and location on the planet don’t have to play a part in this. If you could surprise Anyone with Anything.

Personally, I would pay off a bunch of mortgages…

and probably send some people on extended vacations. (Including me!  😀  )

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