There’s A Special Island For You – Flash Fiction

14 Dec

“Hey, Mike. How’s the world been treatin’ you this week?”

“It’s been alright. It would be better if my neck would quit seizing up on me.”

“That’s still bothering you? Didn’t the chiropractor say it was tension from sleeping wrong? He even gave you that pillow full of…”

“Well, it worked for a while, but it came back a couple days ago. The pain has kind of migrated a little further down my back, though. You wouldn’t believe how…”

“Yes, I have had some serious pains in the neck in my life. Careful, the signal says ‘Don’t Walk’. How about this beautiful weather we’ve been having. It’s just glorious. I took the family for a picnic over the weekend. Brought the dogs along. The kids loved pitching those balls as far as they could throw them. It’s surprising how long it takes to wear down those terriers. Did you do anything fun this weekend?”

“No. The wife had a honey-do-list as long as my leg. Didn’t even get half of it done. *sigh* Then she drug me out to see the latest Ridger flick.”

“That’s a great movie.”

“It would have been great, except for the teenagers three rows behind us. Kept talking and giggling. I couldn’t concentrate.”

“You have to admit, there’s never that much plot in a Ridger movie. Mostly guns, bad guys, bombs, then him walking out of the rubble with the latest hottie.  Wow, this light is sure taking it’s time.”

“It’s rigged. Did you see that thing in the news that they’ve bombed another…”

“Yeah. Awful. Glad they got the guy this time. Oh, I forgot to tell you, I got the notice about my promotion a few days ago! Move into the new office next Monday.”

“Really. That figures.”

“What figures? I worked my butt off for this position.”

“Yeah. Years. Now they see things not going quite right and want to stick you in to be the fall guy. It’s just a shame that you were there to step into their plans.”

“Ookay. Not quite the way I see it, but…”

“You will soon enough.”

“Yeah, just a sec, I need to make a quick call.”

“Take your time. I’m just standing here waiting to cross the street; aging with every breath.”

“Uh-huh. …  Hey, Bruce, I found another one. … Yeah, persistent. … On the corner of Brooks and Main. … Thanks.”

“What was that about?”

“Nothing much. Just a hotline for when I get into this sort of situation.”

“They have a hotline for slow traffic lights? What’s the number?”

“Eh, not exactly. You see, there’s this company that’s running a series of studies on… Oh, here they come.”

“Wow, prompt.”

“Yup.”

“I could do without all the sirens, and the screeching tires.”

“I love them. You can’t miss ’em. … Hi!”

“Were you the gentleman who called about the ‘situation’?”

“I sure am. Right here.”

“Bill, why are you pointing at me?”

“You’re the situation.”

“How can I be ‘the situation’, I’m a person, I…”

“Sir, have you been engaged in a long boring conversation in which you actively attempted to make the other person as miserable as yourself?”

“Whaaa? I don’t see how stating…”

“Have you or have you not had repeated, depressing conversations with anyone who would listen?”

“Now wait just a cotton pickin’ min…”

“And finally, sir, when is the last time something good happened in your life?”

“Huh?”

“We need your answer now, sir.”

“It’s kind of hard to talk with people in blast shields and body armor who just poured out of a black van. You do realize that your front right tire is on the curb, right?”

“I see. Then your answer is that you can’t remember at the moment?”

“How can that be taken as…?”

“Thank you for notifying us, Bill. We’ll take it from here.”

“Not a problem, Ma’am.  So long, Mike. You’re going to love it there.”

“Hey! Put me down! NO! You CAN’T do this!”

“You see, they can, Mike. There’s a special island for people like you. A place where they quarantine infectious gloom. You don’t have actual depression, you’re more of a carrier. I’ve tried for years to get a positive word to come out of your mouth. A total waste of time. You just bum people out. I hope you can get through the program quickly. That way we’ll be able to resume our morning chats on our way in to work. It’d be nice hearing something up beat for a change.  See ya!”

“NOOOooooooo!”

“Good Luck!”

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Sunset 2 - compressed.

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