My Book

My Ignored Hamper - Cover Photo - shrunk for social media

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Toilet Paper Squares

He uses three

She uses four

Tim uses six

Babe uses more

For a big job

You might need a gob

This one may fold

That one may wad

He tears in haste

She doesn’t waste

End of the world

I will yell boldly

“Just give me the T.P.

And back away slowly”

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Have you ever fallen into the toilet because someone left the seat up?

Have you ever run out of toilet paper and not been able to find the spare?

Do you like taking long, warm baths?

Have you ever talked to your rubber ducky?

If so, then this book of poetry is for you. My Ignored Hamper and Other Bathroom Poetry is a collection of 26 clean poems about the bathroom. Starting with the poem entitled But This Isn’t, and ending with When You Really Go Camping, this little book will take you through several of life’s more interesting bathroom moments. Before too long you may be laughing and nodding in sympathy.

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It’s available on Amazon and Smashwords (which also makes titles available to other cool online retailers like B&N, Apple, and Sony).

Here are a couple more:

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My Ignored Hamper

The clothes they have shed?

On the floor looking dead

Ignoring the hamper

To the tub they do scamper

Their clothes in a heap

Into bubbles they leap

When they’re asleep

I’ll let my tea steep

It’ll take just a minute

To put the clothes in it

But for now I’ll enjoy

My two little boys

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Sleep-over Blues

With music up loud

‘Round the mirror they crowd

“That look is a winner”

“I wish I were thinner”

“There’s this really cute boy”

“He treats girls like they’re toys”

It’s Saturday night

They share the spotlight

In their fifth outfit

And wouldn’t you know it

The bathroom is crowded

“It’s here!” someone shouted

The pizza devoured

They’re now soda powered

Six girls in a bathroom

All trying out perfume

“Should we pop in a movie?”

“Let’s make-over Suzie!”

And so it continues

Dad’s sleep-over blues

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If you like clean humor, and don’t mind admitting that everyone has to answer the ‘call of nature’ this could be a good book for you. If you’re not sure, try out a sample. You just might like it.

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