Tag Archives: life

Dear Overwhelmed Mommy

2 Jun

Dear Overwhelmed Mommy,

You are not alone.

At any given time there are thousands of mothers around the world throwing their hands up and giving in to cereal for dinner.

Right now there are millions of moms praying daddy gets home on time so they have an adult to talk with.

I can guarantee you that most mommies out there know exactly how many more hours there are until bed time.

Because this is hard work.

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An overtired toddler at the laundromat a few months ago. Poor Kathleen.

We hear it all the time, but this really is hard work.

Sure, there are people out there who use machinery bigger than the average house, solve five page math problems in their heads, and there are even guys who knock the snot out of each other for a living.

But they get to leave their job behind at the end of the day. They get to turn off the lights, get in their cars, and go home. They can mentally escape. Shut down for a few hours.

Us? Our jobs wake us up, and are often the last thing we see as we fall asleep. We often get woken up in the night, whether our job titles were actually called or not. We can’t even shower without our jobs interfering.

We’ve been home all day.

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Does the cycle of dishes ever end?

Or, we haven’t been home all day, but when we do (with 90 pounds of groceries hanging on our arms), we don’t see a comfortable couch to crash on. No. We see the pile of laundry at the end of the couch everyone has learned to not even try sitting on, and that the carpet has an entire box of toys sprawled on it, and needs vacuumed. And, our little job is pushing us through the door, because those toys are calling to them.

We don’t get paid. We rarely get job recognition. We don’t get a promotion until our little ones have little ones.

Wait, wasn’t this meant to be a pep talk?

Not really.

Because I don’t have much in the way of pep right now.

I just want to say, “I see you.”

“You are not alone.”

There is most likely at least one mother on every continent, right now, who is going through something nearly identical to your day.

I kid you not.

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I think she’s deaf to the word no. Well, except when she’s saying it.

Because although every child is unique, their wants, needs, and energy are not.

You are screaming in frustration, crying from exhaustion, and giving up out of despair.

I did all of that last night.

And do you know what?

My toddler still snuggled into me at bed time.

The sun still rose this morning.

The birds are singing.

And my morning mocha tastes amazing.

Yes, due to my child’s issues yesterday the only thing I accomplished was keeping us alive.

Yes, my husband held me for five minutes when he found me bawling just around the corner from the dining room.

Yes, our cars are both still dead, and I can’t just go get the groceries and supplies I want.

No, I have no idea how we’re getting to a big party tomorrow that I helped plan.

No, I don’t think we’re going to win the lottery.

But! We will survive.

There will be smiles and laughter today.

Today we won’t be housebound due to rain and thunderstorms.

I have what I need to make breakfast, lunch and dinner for a couple days.

I have relatives to call for a ride to the party.

I have a sister back in the area I haven’t seen in months and can’t wait for a hug.

I have another sister who likes taking me to coffee.

I have another sister who has more kids than me, in a house smaller than mine, who has still survived.

This is possible.

Today is a new day.

I have a to do list, and I will do my best.

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P.S. Yesterday was a craptastic day, but, as another reminder of how wonderfully resilient kids are, I just heard my two year old giggle in her sleep. So much arguing. So many tears from both of us. And she’s giggling in her sleep. ❤

Kathleen 3.5 months - 5-14-2015

Wasn’t she sooo cute, back before she started saying no to everything, even things she wants!

 

 

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Sugar High on National Pie Day

14 Mar

Sitting on the couch, eating pumpkin pie with Cool Whip as Kathleen helps herself to the occasional spoonful of cold, white, fluff and watches Ruby Gloom.

Daylight savings has taken its toll on our routine. I may actually have to set a morning alarm for the next few days in hopes of getting the toddler and me up at a more reasonable hour and reset our internal clocks. Not waking up until 10 (Mon and Tues) really throws off nap and bed time.

The crazy amount of snow we got this winter is mostly gone. Yay! Now we wait for planting time. There’s a spot in our front yard that tomatoes love, and we may try bell peppers in a box they enjoyed a few years ago. Not too sure what we are going to do for a regular garden, though. Between the greenhouse frame collapsing under the snow, and the good possibility of the ridiculously free-range chickens around here terrorizing an unprotected garden I already fear for the safety of possible seedlings. :/

I need to find a place to set up my writing computer. There’s a project close to my heart that needs to get off the ground and out there sooner rather than later. It will require a website / blog all its own, and I hope to be able to draft a few friends into helping. Hopefully it will be useful for those it’s created for, as well as financially helpful to those of us who make it and keep it running.

I really need to trim this kid’s finger nails.

Ooh, my brother-in-law just brought home burgers and fries. Yum.

 

Never, Ever Give up Complaining for Lent

12 Feb

Does it count as complaining if I couch this in comedy as a cautionary tale?

I hope not.

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Ok, so Wednesday night, I decided after seeing stuff about Lent on Facebook that this year might be a good one to participate again. I couldn’t, however, think of anything practical to give up, so it went to the way-side. Last night, a day late, I came across more stuff about Lent, and then some inspirational stuff about stopping complaining and trying to view the positive and be thankful for it.

Well, after getting the idea in my head I liked it.

It might have helped if I’d concentrated on the right end of that idea, though.

So last night I set myself up for success by staying up even later than normal. Genus, right?

This morning came far too fast when Kathleen woke up an hour earlier than usual.

Then we had a present from a dog on the kitchen floor. Eew!

Things went normally for a bit as I did my little morning routine while baby watched Kipper, then I got a bowl of cereal. That’s when she decided it was imperative that she be held…Right Now!

No can do, Pumpkin, I have my hands full with the need for fuel. So she wore down my patience with heartbreaking cries between kisses and momentary distractions of shiny toys. I, not the fastest eater in the world due to a tummy that does not take kindly to it, did my best to wolf down my food.

After changing her diaper we head for bed again, where she naps for an hour, two hours early.

She wakes up and we exit the bedroom heading for her changing table…

And encounter a very proud of himself Labrador finishing off the nose of her changing table teddy.

Can this day get any more fun?

Yes. Yes, it can.

I go to microwave some leftovers for an early lunch and the breaker for the kitchen goes. So, I go to find Lonnie and tell him what kind of day I’m having. He goes and flips the breaker back on and holds Kathleen while I get started eating.

Uh, so that’s been the day so far. I spent the entire time looking for things to Not complain about. See the problem?

Now, what could this day have gone like if I’d been concentrating on the second half of the saying? What if I had been looking for the positive? The things to be thankful for?

Well, for starters, we all woke up this morning. No one came down with a surprise cold. Baby’s diaper didn’t overflow. See? A whole list of things before even getting out of bed.

I could have been thankful Lonnie remembered to get the trash out the night before, so there wasn’t much for him to clean up.

We had cereal and milk for me to eat.

When I got her to bed Kathleen fell asleep quickly and solidly, which allowed me to take a bit of a nap, too.

After waking up, she eliminated  quickly, so I was able to clean it up with only one wipe.

The dog, while oh so proud of his taking out of the evil stuffed animal, did not argue with me when I took the poor thing away from him. And he hadn’t had time to do more damage than removing the nose. It will take a bit of work to fix it, but it is salvageable and still cute.

When I told Lonnie about the blown breaker he didn’t complain or procrastinate. He put aside what he was doing and fixed the problem. Then he held and entertained the baby while I ate the bulk of my food. And, now, rather than going back to his project, he’s hanging out with us, watching silly sci-fi stuff helping corral baby so I can get this blog post out.

See? If I’d looked at the day (as I will now be viewing the rest of Lent) in that light I probably wouldn’t have ended up in a foul mood. Thankfully it was temporary, because I thought about this blog and all of you, and the fact that it might entertain and possible enlighten someone.

Even more to be thankful for. 🙂

Thank you for reading this.

Thank you for being my friends.

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So, how about a little post themed entertainment from Mr. Perry Como?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWee3zJcTpQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWee3zJcTpQ

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Now if you’ll excuse me, Kathleen has a book and an expectant look.

Time to go read to my baby. 🙂

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And the Ewww Gross Award Goes To…

28 Oct

A few days ago my daughter, Kathleen, an adventurous 9 month old, decided to do something a little too far outside her abilities and ended up on her head.

Not unusual for this age. It happens almost weekly anymore.

This time, though, she got a little scrape and needed a small round bandage.

Fast forward a few days and Lonnie, baby and I are over at my parents’ house helping them move furniture.

Kathleen is being passed between my mother and myself depending on who’s most needed at the moment.

About the time we’re wrapping up Mom goes down stairs to order a pizza, so I put Kathleen on the floor for a couple minutes and help put clothes in a box while keeping half an eye on her.

It apparently wasn’t the correct half.

I pick her up and notice that she’s rolling something around in her mouth.

Great. :/

As I’m trying to get her mouth open there’s a big, theatrical swallow, and it’s gone.

Then Lonnie points to her head and says…

“Her band-aid’s gone.”

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*** The little bandage passed without incident, by the way. lol ***

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A Mid-Week Baby Update

26 Feb

(If You Have no clue what I’m talking about click HERE to read the three former posts about my baby’s, eh…adventure in the NICU.)

Good news!

Right now it’s all good news.

No, we have not been cleared to leave yet.

Yet.

See, while a doctor has not outright said we should be heading home soon, the nurses (for 3 days now) have been prepping me with lists of what we will have to do and mental preps for ‘when you go home’.

Three days in a row nurses have been telling me that my husband and I will be required to learn infant CPR, she will have to pass a 90 minute car-seat test, that we’ll have to watch a video on how to deal with a crying baby and the way, way what not to do’s.

“When you go home…”

It sounds beautiful.

However, once burned, twice shy.

I have gotten my hopes up once. It hurt when they found another little (but that wasn’t how they made it sound) problem and the timetable was wordlessly thrown out the window.

Sunday evening a nurse informed me that they would re-test my daughter’s red blood cell count in about a week. Therefore I figure we should be here at least through this coming weekend, if not another week after that. But what do I know? I’m just a mom trying to establish breastfeeding while watching her daughter slowly detoxing off morphine.

Lots of fun.

It’s not that bad, really. She’s sometimes a little cranky, sucks on her pacifier like there’s no tomorrow when in need of comfort, and, um, has loose stool. Kinda hard to tell the difference, though, all tiny baby poop is supposed to be pretty loose. *shrugs*

Other than the occasional morphine (they’re not going to make a baby go cold turkey! Youch.), Tylenol (only when she really seems to need it), diuretics (probably because morphine can make you retain water), multivitamins and twice a day iron supplements, she is off medications. These are administered orally, since she no longer has any IV’s. The wires coming off her are just monitors (heart rate, breathing pattern, blood oxygen saturation, …and something else). Other than that the only things going into her are the little nasal prongs from her small oxygen tube, and her feeding tube, which goes up her nose and down into her stomach. She hates it and has been trying (and at times succeeding) to pull anything and everything off of and out of her face since day one.

Today’s nurse put word in for the occupational therapists to come visit me and help get her to take the bottle better (they like their measurements when it comes to food intake), and the lactation department is on notice that I want a consultation ASAP.  Everyone has been running around like chickens with their heads cut off because they’re at capacity for patients, but they will do their best to get around to me. They don’t want us around any longer than necessary, they need the bed space.

Meanwhile I have been enjoying watching her make faces in her sleep, smack herself in the face with an unguided arm-jerk, and the fascination that widens her eyes when I make a certain popping noise with my lips.

It may not be ideal, and certainly not what I had planned, but I am certainly going to enjoy as much of her early days as I can be a part of. They’re only this little for a small amount of time, and believe me, I am soaking it up. 🙂

Let’s just hope my next post is about our NICU escape plan. lol

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In Loving Memory of My Butt

3 Sep

When I met my husband I probably weighed 105 pounds soaking wet.

We have always been honest with each other, so it’s not surprising that not long after we were officially a couple he told me he was going to put some meat on my skinny little bones. He started cooking up his favorite recipes (did I mention he’s half Italian? Yum!), and I did research on what I should eat to gently put on some mass.

After about a year or so I was up another 20 pounds. I thought I was cute before? I felt freakin’ hot at 125. What surprised me was how easy it was to maintain. I didn’t go over, and once I got into the habit of eating more protein and a little more fat I didn’t slide back very often.

Then came the economic slip’n slide. His job was in housing. Mine was in mortgage loans. Let’s just say there was a lot of ouch before we were both unemployed. Not pretty.

So, I went from a busy little bee in an office to a couch potato as we sat around filling out every application we could lay our hands on. My weight crept on so slowly that before I realized it I was 150 pounds and had split the inner thigh of my much loved, second hand pair of Gloria Vanderbilt jeans. A very sad time for me. I worked hard to maintain a positive light on my body. The last thing I wanted was to become depressed over something that was reversable.

Now the goal was to healthily lose 25 pounds. P90X only made me sweat a lot (although the endorphin highs were a lot of fun), and walking wasn’t enough. Eventually life led me to find The 4-Hour Body. Following the slow carb diet laid out in that book my blood sugar leveled out so nicely that I rarely had a migraine. I soon realized that while I wasn’t losing weight, my flub was being replaced by some pretty amazing muscle. Without working out!

That’s when I implemented some of the author’s recommended exercises to help women put on muscle but still maintain that hour-glass figure. Since I hadn’t seen my actual waist in a while it was very hard to only do the moves twice a week.

My figure was improving, my blood sugar was wonderfully stable, I had just published my book of poetry… and I realized I was late for my period. Like, not normal late.

After a year of trying I was beginning to worry, but there it was, a second blue line that was even darker than the sample line. No maybes about that! Ironically I tested the morning after Mother’s Day. 🙂  I was officially 5 months pregnant on Labor Day, and should give birth some time after my 31st birthday in January. Sometimes it seems almost surreal.

Right now, anyway.

It felt horribly, kill-me-now real up until almost a month ago.

My round size 9 body met up with morning sickness, oral thrush and pretty serious food aversions (like, to almost all food). The oral thrush lasted about a month and a half, despite prescription medication. The morning sickness finally let up about 3 weeks ago. I haven’t vomited in about 4 weeks. Please, God, don’t let that come back.

At my last weigh in at the birthing center I was 132 (a month ago). I had lost 18 pounds in about 2 1/2 months on one of the most miserable crash diets imaginable. The things is, I hadn’t just lost fat. I know I have lost a lot of muscle mass as well.

Want to know how I know?

My butt.

Yes, my butt. I had quite a nice booty goin’ on back there. And it was all muscle.

Now, wooden benches and metal folding chairs are like torture devices.

I have a bony butt again.

Waah-haha! 😥

I am a twig again. I don’t even look pregnant. Five months along and I barely pook out.

I keep flashing back to that part in Mulan where the match maker circles her and says “Too skinny. Not good for bearing sons.”

There will be triumph! There must be. This can not continue. At this rate I will just be a little stick figure with a giant baby belly. Bed rest would be mandatory because eventually I would not have the ability to walk around! I probably wouldn’t even have the strength to give birth and be stuck with a mandatory c-section!!

*Breathes into a paper bag*

The light at the end of this tunnel? The fact that a few days ago I worked up the courage to steal a bite of my husband’s very creative scrambled eggs… and they tasted like eggs. They didn’t settle all that well, but still! 😀

Then I tried a spoon of some of clam chowder he was eating and that tasted right. Although it did have an unpleasant aftertaste.

But the most important thing of all? He made some taco flavored beef/pasta concoction the other night. It smelled good while he was cooking it. He asked if I wanted some. I cautiously said I would try a little. He brought me about half a cup. I ate it all!!! No unpleasant side effects, either. If I wasn’t already full of that and raw veggies I totally would have accepted his offer of seconds.

There is hope. 🙂

Now I just have to get my protein intake up to where I can start on a very mild muscle building work out twice a week. Pretty much what I was doing before the baby’s presence threw my life for a loop.

I very much look forward to having my booty back. 😉

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P.S. Don’t worry, the baby’s doing fine.

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I Have Lost My Black Book

23 Jul

One of the worst things that can happen to someone who uses many social media sites has happened to me: I have lost the black book that contains my list of passwords.

I don’t know where and I’m not sure how, but it’s gone.

The last place I remember holding it is when I decided it was too heavy to take with me on the roadtrip in early June. I took it out of the suitcase and… blank.

It will be found. It must. I am just waiting for that forehead smacking moment when I either wonder why I didn’t look in that particular place to begin with or ask myself what I was thinking ever putting it there.

Until that glorious day I will be limited on my range of social media movement.

And believe me, the moment the thing is found I will be making a copy of that info and putting it in my sock drawer!

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And here’s a little something for a laugh:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOY2-O89sTs

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I’m Fighting the Blues

9 May

Yes, I will admit it. I am in a funk right now.

Not quite sure why, but I am.

Actually, yes I do know why.

I am not the most patient person on the planet and watching the calendar pages fly past as my husband and I work on various goals and projects has begun to wear on me. For the longest time I was the perkiest person on the planet about our empire building plans. But it has now been a few weeks since we’ve been able to gain any traction on anything substantial and it’s bumming me out.

This has happened to me before. Many times, in fact. I’ll spend a week or so moping around listening to music, crying instead of napping, and loitering in my sprouting garden. Then one day I’ll suddenly have my groove back, the mojo will spring into action and I’ll put my nose to the grindstone again. Until then I will baby myself so that my natural optimism has a chance to bloom again.

However, something different is happening this time. I have been asked to stay with a friend over the weekend while her housemate is gone.

When I accepted I wasn’t all that excited about a weekend away from my computer, my writing and my husband. Now that I’ve had a little time to think about it I have realized that this could be good for me. A weekend of something different. Not drastically so, but still no dogs, someone new to talk with for a few days and nothing productive to do. Unless you count watching old movies, fudging a bit on my diet, and reading as many of their Mrs. Pollifax books as I can manage.  😉

(I will still very much miss my husband. I don’t sleep very well without him beside me. :/ )

So, now I’m looking at this weekend more like R&R rather than a chore. That’s good, because I’ll have a lot more fun with this mindset rather than resenting the situation. And seriously, what’s to resent? It’s distracting me from what I’m not mentally and emotionally capable of tackling in my present condition.

Well, enough of that. It’s time for me to put together and schedule my next Mirth and Music Monday post. The least I can do for my post-weekend self is take away the stress of trying to get that together in one night.  🙂

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And now it’s time for something completely unrelated!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_4LtBDCUEg&noredirect=1

Nothing like a little Star Trek related tomfoolery to lighten the mood. 🙂

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I hope you all have a great weekend,

                                                and I’ll see you again on Monday.

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Video

MMM… The MozART Group

5 May

That was… an odd week. And this new week will be stranger still. I have so many places to be, people to help, and things that need doing. Next weekend is going to be very full and busy and at the same time probably a little on the slow and empty side.

Yes, at times life becomes one big oxymoron.

Lots of hurry up and wait, if you know what I mean.

Oh, well. You get used to it.

Or you end up in a mental institution talking to your jelly toast.

Either way… eh…

Where was I going with that?

*shrugs*

This one is from a group I found a while ago. They’re called the MozART Group. They do classical music with not so much a twist as a spiral.

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For more Mirth and Music Monday you can go to The Linky or search for #MirthMusicMon on Twitter.

I want to give a big shout out to Emily Witt for playing along this week!  Thank You!  😀

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If you liked this post (or if you think you could do better) go ahead and play along with us. We would be happy to have you as Monday buddies. 🙂  All that is required is something funny (be it a comic strip, a stand up comedian or a funny commercial) and something musical (classical, rock, Tesla coils. What?) and then go to ReGi McClain’s blog to add your info into the linky there. After that, your blog post is among some of the most cultured, refined and admired posts among the blogosphere. At least we will think so.  😉

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I hope your week isn’t as strange as mine could turn out to be. (at least where I will be ‘creatively loitering’ has a few Mrs. Polifax books, so of course no creative work will get done.  😉  )

And as always:

Have A Great Monday!

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Can I Be An Addams?

23 Apr

I’m sitting beneath a thunderstorm, listening to the crash and rumble and drinking tea.

What a lovely day.

No, I’m not being sarcastic. I love a good thunderstorm.

It’s an even more interesting experience these days. Since we live up on a hill it’s not uncommon for the road out front of our house to be struck. I don’t know why all the trees around here aren’t interesting to the lightning. Perhaps the pipes beneath the asphalt call to it. Perhaps the stone used in the mixture is a little magnetic.

It’s a mystery.

Occasionally I think I would fit right in with the Addams family. Aside from the liking pain and eating the strangest parts of animals, of course. (I tried chicken hearts a while back. Eeew.)

I love to dance, and really, really want to learn the tango.

I keep begging my husband to start teaching me swordplay.

I don’t look too bad in black.

I talk to my plants.

By the end of a long winter my skin is so pale I almost glow in the dark.

It would be amazing if snapdragons actually belched little flames, and if a giant Venus flytrap would eat the neighbor chickens that keep trying to roost on our front porch. (It’s annoying having to tiptoe around their leavings).

If it would help get me a little closer I offer up the fact that I married a man who’s 1/2 Italian. And has a habit of swearing in Italian, and Vietnamese, I think. *shrugs*

Then there’s my long dark hair, desire to employ a butler at some point in my life, and my need to suppress these urges that tell me to vindictively give some of our neighbors a taste of their own medicine. (You know how they say ‘good fences make for good neighbors”? We’re saving up for a good fence. We’re also pricing out cyclone wire for the top.)

But, until I get my notice that I’m an honorary cousin, I will have to be content to sip tea during thunderstorms. And perhaps learn a little French. 😉

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyyiQujh1yk

For the rest of the first episode:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IjEosj7hco

and

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WFV8U3JYEJE

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