Tag Archives: Minions Banana Song

Cheat Day Life Guards – A Flash Fiction

10 Jan

“I want a chocolate milkshake so bad it almost hurts.”

“Try not to think about it, Gwen. Concentrate on the walk.”

“It’s not thinking, it’s craving. Dreaming.”

“You’re doing great on your diet. The weight is starting to come off. You’ll be at your ideal weight in no time.”

“Let’s be realistic, Carol, it’s going to take months. This initial weight loss is wonderful and all, but it’s going to taper off here soon. That’s when the real work comes in.”

“Don’t think about it.”

“Yeah, concentrate on the now. Feel the burn.”


“I’d rather feel my fingers getting frost bite on one of those giant oblong bowls they put banana splits in.”

“You’re killing me, Gwen. I’m even off bananas.”

“No bananas? Where do you get your potassium?”

“Kiwi. Lower on the glycemic index.”

“Huh. So one of those frozen peanut butter, banana mochas from Jolts is very much out of the question.”

“I would just about kill my dietitian for one of those.”

“Is that who put you on kiwi?”


“Cruel and unusual, Carol. Cruel and unusual.”

“Feels that way, but my pants are starting to fit better, so I’m kinda, almost okay with it. Almost.”

“Do you get a cheat day?”

“Not for another two weeks. She says it’s best to go cold turkey, then introduce small treats after I’ve seen the first few results. Something about not wanting to over-indulge and screw it up.”

“Two weeks. Are you going to have a maximum calorie ceiling, or just follow your mouth?”

“Uh, I think she just said something like…’Let your stomach and your conscience both talk about it before you indulge.'”


“Yup. Could we slow down a little? I think I’m gonna hurl.”

“Please don’t. I’m kind of a sympathetic vomiter.”

“I’ll be alright in a minute. I just need to let my heart rate slow down a little. Is it trying to rain?”

“It would seem that way.”


“Sooo, in two weeks, you wanna share a banana split with me?”

“I think there was bird poop on that guard rail. Is it on my butt now?”

“Hold still. Uh, no. You’re fine.”

“Phew. That would have been gross. What about a banana split?”

“Do you want to split one with me in two weeks?”

“You mean like a cheat day support group kinda thing?”

“Sure, if that’s what you want to call it.”

“Well, sharing it would be a lot better than us buying quarts of double fudge brownie ice cream and eating them in the closet.”

“If that’s how you sell it to your dietitian then go for it.”

“We share the dessert, and we can be like cheat day life guards for each other.”


“That’s a great idea! So, like, the first Saturday of next month will be my first cheat day. Are you available that evening?”

“If ice cream and chocolate are involved I’m always available.”

“Then it’s a cheat day date.”


“We’d better finish this walk before it really starts raining on us.”

“Yeah, there’s nothing worse than being cold, sugar deprived, and soaked.”



Too funny not to use for a second time on here.  😀