Tag Archives: Motherhood

Why This Mama Wants Spoilers

15 Jul

I am not up on almost all of the most recent shows and movies.

My husband watches a few of them, and keeps me apprised of the developments on the ones I catch 6 minutes of while folding laundry or just sitting down after getting the kid down for a nap.

I want the cliff-notes version. I want the spoilers and plot points, not the endless suspense and drama.

Here are my biggest reasons. (Let’s see if you ping on a couple of these.)

I don’t have time for the show.

As a mother I have a lot on my to do list. Sitting around watching a half hour show that advances the story arc half an inch is not on that list. Anywhere.

Now, yes, I have been careful to put downtime and self-care on that to do list, but I have enough to do with long, thick hair to wash, taking care of my health, blogging, reading, church, and family time.

So, no, I do not have time to sit around stressing about whether someone is going to fall off the cliff in the emotional cliffhanger.

I don’t have emotional space for the drama.

That last sentence leads right into this point: I do not have the emotional reserves to be stressing and tensed up over what the writers have planned for the characters next. I have a toddler who has a breakdown because I carry her to the car…after I just spent 6 minutes trying to convince her she needed to wear her shoes or she wouldn’t be able to walk herself to the car. *head desk*

I can’t exhaust my poor overworked adrenaline glands on an epic battle that has been going on for 3 seasons now. I need my adrenaline for things like when my kid decides to climb onto the kitchen counter to inventory the spice cupboard. 

I don’t want my toddler to see it/hear the language.

If I time things right, pray hard, and am really fortunate, I will get an hour of kid free time in the early morning, or during nap. Every other blue moon, I get both on the same day. So I have very little time when my child is not at my feet or in my lap.

And most of the popular shows have situations and language that I would rather not have my small child exposed to.

She is coming into an age when one moment something is fascinating and the next it’s blood curdling scream terrifying. Bugs, the dog, a game, a story, just something that’s going on inside her head, can set her off in a panic that requires me to drop whatever I am doing and comfort her; whether I understand it or not.

I do not need to add the sights and sounds of killings, life or death situations, mob scenes, or just plain old monsters to her already overactive imagination.

It’s not my genera, but I like a couple of the characters.

There are stories I really like, but I just can’t stand the way they’re being handled. There are characters I am intrigued by, but I don’t want to sit through an entire cast’s drama to keep tabs on them.

So, if my husband happens to be watching an episode I’ll ask him for a rundown of this episode’s plot, or how a particular character is faring. That’s all I really want to know. Thankfully, after explaining this situation to my husband, he is more than happy to summarize things for me in a short conversation. In a way it’s the best of both worlds for him, he gets to watch his shows, and after a two minute explanation of the latest developments he has someone handy to discuss the plot and characters with.

There are a lot of things I could probably get sucked into caring about, but I don’t have the time or emotional resources to handle them and still be a caring, involved parent. I am not deprived in anyway, or starved for entertainment, but I do have to set boundaries on my sources and remember that it’s just a story. Perhaps in a few years, if I still am interested I’ll buy or borrow a boxed set of whatever and binge for a few weekends. In the meantime, I’ll keep doing what is best for me and my family.

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Dear Overwhelmed Mommy

2 Jun

Dear Overwhelmed Mommy,

You are not alone.

At any given time there are thousands of mothers around the world throwing their hands up and giving in to cereal for dinner.

Right now there are millions of moms praying daddy gets home on time so they have an adult to talk with.

I can guarantee you that most mommies out there know exactly how many more hours there are until bed time.

Because this is hard work.

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An overtired toddler at the laundromat a few months ago. Poor Kathleen.

We hear it all the time, but this really is hard work.

Sure, there are people out there who use machinery bigger than the average house, solve five page math problems in their heads, and there are even guys who knock the snot out of each other for a living.

But they get to leave their job behind at the end of the day. They get to turn off the lights, get in their cars, and go home. They can mentally escape. Shut down for a few hours.

Us? Our jobs wake us up, and are often the last thing we see as we fall asleep. We often get woken up in the night, whether our job titles were actually called or not. We can’t even shower without our jobs interfering.

We’ve been home all day.

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Does the cycle of dishes ever end?

Or, we haven’t been home all day, but when we do (with 90 pounds of groceries hanging on our arms), we don’t see a comfortable couch to crash on. No. We see the pile of laundry at the end of the couch everyone has learned to not even try sitting on, and that the carpet has an entire box of toys sprawled on it, and needs vacuumed. And, our little job is pushing us through the door, because those toys are calling to them.

We don’t get paid. We rarely get job recognition. We don’t get a promotion until our little ones have little ones.

Wait, wasn’t this meant to be a pep talk?

Not really.

Because I don’t have much in the way of pep right now.

I just want to say, “I see you.”

“You are not alone.”

There is most likely at least one mother on every continent, right now, who is going through something nearly identical to your day.

I kid you not.

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I think she’s deaf to the word no. Well, except when she’s saying it.

Because although every child is unique, their wants, needs, and energy are not.

You are screaming in frustration, crying from exhaustion, and giving up out of despair.

I did all of that last night.

And do you know what?

My toddler still snuggled into me at bed time.

The sun still rose this morning.

The birds are singing.

And my morning mocha tastes amazing.

Yes, due to my child’s issues yesterday the only thing I accomplished was keeping us alive.

Yes, my husband held me for five minutes when he found me bawling just around the corner from the dining room.

Yes, our cars are both still dead, and I can’t just go get the groceries and supplies I want.

No, I have no idea how we’re getting to a big party tomorrow that I helped plan.

No, I don’t think we’re going to win the lottery.

But! We will survive.

There will be smiles and laughter today.

Today we won’t be housebound due to rain and thunderstorms.

I have what I need to make breakfast, lunch and dinner for a couple days.

I have relatives to call for a ride to the party.

I have a sister back in the area I haven’t seen in months and can’t wait for a hug.

I have another sister who likes taking me to coffee.

I have another sister who has more kids than me, in a house smaller than mine, who has still survived.

This is possible.

Today is a new day.

I have a to do list, and I will do my best.

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P.S. Yesterday was a craptastic day, but, as another reminder of how wonderfully resilient kids are, I just heard my two year old giggle in her sleep. So much arguing. So many tears from both of us. And she’s giggling in her sleep. ❤

Kathleen 3.5 months - 5-14-2015

Wasn’t she sooo cute, back before she started saying no to everything, even things she wants!

 

 

No S. Sherlock!

24 Jul

Shopping… with 5 kids.  A brave woman. 🙂

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Here are some of her thoughts about comments from fellow shoppers.

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Magnificent Mommyhood

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Why must we, as human beings, state the obvious?

I do it, I have caught myself many times doing this very thing.  Making comments like, “You’re bleeding” or “You look sick” to an individual who was quite (sometimes painfully) aware.

I remained blissfully unaware of the extent of this epidemic however, until sometime around the third (3rd!) kid.  As I have brought more and more children into “public” over the years, the number one comment I get (generally as I am carrying one child, chasing another and one or more is crying in the cart due to a sudden drop in the barometric pressure-or some other extremely valid reason) is, “You have your hands FULL!”

What I would like to say is, “REALLY?  YA THINK?”  I usually temper my response however, and say something like, “I sure do!”

The second most common response to my gaggle of children is, “Are they ALL yours?”

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